Well here I sit with a nervous yet excited bubble that has been building within me for a week or so now…it is the eve of our first consultation appointment with the Fertility Associates. I ask myself what it is that is making me feel nervous and a little anxious….and I guess it’s really just the unknown….what is the consultant going to be like (she is a woman so that is something I am pleased about), what kind of things are they going to ask, are we going to find out what kind of treatment they want to try, are we going to come away with a positive plan of action, or come away with information overload and not remember anything….gaaah!
However, I think if I am really honest it is the fact that I have a disability that is making me the most nervous. Not that being a paraplegic has anything to do with my fertility but have they ever dealt with anyone in a wheelchair before, are they going to look at me differently or treat me differently. In my head I know that they will handle our situation with the same respect as any able bodied client but it certainly isn’t going to be the normal for them. I don’t know why I let my disability affect me, it doesn’t define who I am. I’m more than just ‘the girl in the wheelchair’ but sometimes it seems to (or I let it) overtake my confidence. I don’t know why I do that. Just my silly little insecurities that crop up every now and again.
But putting that nervousness aside I actually can’t wait to find out what it’s all going to be about,. Another step closer to our little footsteps, that is the exciting part!! So I will be sure to let you all know how we get on. It will more than likely be in a couple of days time as our appointment is late afternoon and afterwards we are going to be going out for tea to celebrate darling husbands 32nd birthday with some family at our all time favourite restaurant…LONE STAR.
Before I go I just want to pray, “Lord, I want to commit our appointment into your hands and ask that You go before us and prepare the way that everything will go smoothly and according to Your plan. Your ways are higher than my ways and I only want what you want. Thank you Jesus and I ask that you would use us for your glory and we go through this IVF adventure, in Jesus Name, Amen”
faith to footsteps 